i don’t regret my past, just the time i wasted with the wrong people

This is quote from a title given to a group of messages and inspirational statements on Facebook. As my 25^th class reunion approaches, I realized that I spent years avoiding and dodging reunions with a large group of people that I hardly knew. I did not realize in doing so that I was keeping myself static with a group a people I thought I knew.

Often we keep ourselves from progressing and branching off into new grounds by keeping the things most familiar close. I realized that I am no more attached to the past as I am a stranger to the future. The past is old and done, and sometimes friends are for seasons.

As time moves forward, some of us grow spiritually, physically, and numerically, but if we still see the world and rationalize it as we once did 25 years ago, then how much have we grown?

I struggled for years wondering why the people who I cared for so much looked upon me with the utmost criticism. I have been called a snob, arrogant, and difficult to understand. I was told ‘I can’t get a take on you” and “you’ll never find money on the ground with your nose in the air”. It took some time for me to realize this, but I had long outgrown some people even before I met them. The reason: I see the world differently than a lot of the people who want to get to know me.

It took 25 years almost to come into full admission that a lot of the people I held in such high esteem were kept in the coffers for too long. I was never one to dismiss friends, people who had been there for me during the most difficult times. However, it became real to me that my growth continued as theirs waned. We outgrew each other, but to me we could still find similarities to keep us going.

I did not realize how much I was despised until I made sickness and early retirement look ‘too easy’. Now that Facebook has brought me in touch with a few people that I knew, some barely and many not at all, I have discovered this to be a metaphor for my life. It is time to move onward. As hard as it once was to believe that it is not me who as changed, but those around me, it is apparent that throughout life people place limits upon themselves and hate those around them who test said limits and surpass even their own expectations.

I do not expect anything but acceptance. I am so comfortable being with myself that I really do not need the company of others to be happy. Life has taught me many things through loss and gain. People come into your life for a reason, a season, and some for a lifetime. When people want to get out of your life by words or deeds, let them go. Know that your destiny is not tied to anyone who chooses to depart from you or fails to see you as you are, or believes you cannot be understood. It is not you. It is them. 

Let them go. Realize that the time spent was for a purpose, and when the time is over, it is over. The past was teaching moment, so do not regret it. Only regret the time wasted, which were the moments you spent lamenting if it is over knowing well that what is done, is done.