skin...the traits we inherit

I guess it is hormones. I know the truth. Heredity plays a significant role in what you deal with or choose to ignore. As I have aged, it is remarkable how much my appearance is growing to favor that of my parents. At 12, I had this tree growing on my back. Of course it did not sprout roots or give fruit. It certainly needed pruning. Actually, it needed to be gone and fast. Dermatologists and my mother's careful loving hang, I was able to recover from my first bout with an eczema scar. Eczema? Yes, I call it my father's DNA. Years, later eczema is not the only disorder I have encountered in the Atopy triad. At 17, I encountered my first bout with hay fever, not to mention countless skin irritations that seemed to come out of no where. My skin was hypersensitive to everything. If something touched my hands, and my hands reached my face, a new outbreak would occur. For years, I believed the battle of teenage acne would end and a new life would emerge, allergy free.

Wrong.

In my mid to late 30's asthma reared its ugly head, eczema was in full bloom, and the return of acne. Acne has no relation to the triad, but if I mismanage the treatments for the triad, acne is a viable result. After nearly two decades of virtually being acne free, I was shelving out money for prescriptions that were deemed 'new' and 'cutting edge' but gave little results. I grew frustrated with my condition and even more so with my dermatologists. A few simple self-care, at-home treatments resolved my issues.

Then came the 40's...

Hormone struggles are officially added to my list of 'causes' for skin irritations and the return of acne. However, this round, I do not intend to shelve out money to a dermatologist. My skin has been erratic for the last 7 years. I would say the late 30's forward. It is tricky. I have to basically stay consistent and try at best not to over clean it. Now that I am outside a lot running, I have to keep it cleaner but without soap. Same goes for my hair. I cannot over dry or risk overproduction of sebum. My skin follows the same protocol.

A simple steam pot with vitamin c added, along with herbs, teas, etc. but not necessary, helps to open my pores allowing me to cleanse them and treat them instead of just the surface of my skin. This is so cheap and certainly not a recommendation by dermatologists, hence another reason I find the medical profession/insurance community laughable.

my running secret weapon

You may think it is my MP3 player bouncing my favorite tunes. Some may say it is the K-Swiss Tubes I have been raving about since my sister bought me my first pair for Christmas. It very well could be my Brita Bottle (just one of many...building a collection of colors). All of those things are very special to my exercise regimen. However the secret weapon in my arsenal is none other than...drum roll,

Of course you should stay hydrated on a run...but I just could not connect with the idea of toting a water bottle. And the thought of pausing my run to get a sip is sabotage. I would have to rev up again...losing speed, losing time...ugh! I remembered during a sore throat a year ago, that I popped peppermint to get through a cardio session and I did not get thirsty or that parched feeling you get when your throat feels like sandpaper.

Try it!

Special Report - 'Going Natural'

...if you have not considered it, you should

time for changes

It is now day 14 into the month of March. We have been blessed with this awesome spring weather and the season has yet to set. Think about it for a second, and you will not question so much why the weather in the northern most part of the U.S. is experiencing such beauty and warmth so soon. Sure, the ecologists will cite global warming. I will not discount that. I do think it is much deeper than the surface. Every region we see on the map experiences a different climate change. Some having a monsoon, while others are looking forward to harvest. Yes, the weather in Michigan is unusually warm. I hear so many suggesting it is flu weather. Maybe it is the spring that some will not get to see? I cannot predict. I do think everything good is from God. I think he knows and we should just be open to it and recognize even though the weather maybe uncharacteristically warm for this time of the year, things change. As things change, we adapt to them.

constituents, comrades, and confidants - T.D. Jakes

This clip speaks for itself. It is from one of the greatest teachers in the clergy. Bishop Jakes presents a series on 'constituents, comrades, and confidants'. Throughout our lives we meet three types of people. We never really know where they fall in these categories until we are under attack. You can have people in your lives for years, believing that they are there for you no matter what you are going through, but something happens not of your own doing to show you exactly who these people really are. And you are all the better for it. It does not mean they have no meaning in your life. Sometimes people are in your life for their own purpose (constituents) and when they find someone who helps them get where they are going, they leave you and follow the cause that gets them there faster.

Sometimes you have comrades. Those are the people that you call upon when you go to battle. They, like the constituents are present for the temporary service that you provide. If you are not in battle or not in abundance, you shift back and forth from these two sectors of people. Then there is the confidant. All great leaders have one. Bishop Jakes states that you are blessed to have one, but abundantly blessed if you have three in the course of your life. You need all types of people in your life to learn about life. You simply need to know who is where and what position they play. We have all types of friends.

Most important, confidants are the people you can lay your trust in. They are there for the long-haul. They love you unconditionally. They are the people you tend to take for granted, unfortunately. If they leave you, they have not left you because they stop loving you. They leave because they are searching for the thing they provide for you but cannot find within you. It likely was not a relationship of perceived equality. The scales were drastically unbalanced. As a result, they lost favor in you and departed. If they return into your life make their importance in your life known to them. Say it out loud. Time is precious. And we take things that mean most to us and abuse it, believing it will not go away, but be there always. This is so far from the truth, since we know we lose loved ones to death always. Sometimes it leaves. And it is then, we realize that somethings and people are irreplaceable. We know this, but we gamble on it anyway. We wake up knowing and believing that the sun rises to meet us, and they will too.

True soulmates are believed to be each others confidant. They are there for each other without question.

Some years ago an associate of mine insisted that I look very carefully at the people in my life. I was blessed to hear this advice and blessed for following it. That day changed my life forever. To God, Be the Glory!

reflection...thanks to Whitney~

This week was a challenge. The world has yet to see a greater vocal talent than the late Whitney Houston. I was blessed to view her meteoric rise to fame, as well as her fall, and return to glory. I remember the first time I heard her sing. I also remember rushing out to purchase her first album titled “Whitney Houston”. No other artist has touched me the same. I cannot say that this is an impossible feat. I was so young, and very much in love by the time her second album dropped. “Whitney” as it is titled, was the second project that debuted the year I graduated high school. By the following year, I was in a place of uncertainty. College was my life, but I was not totally buying this post-high school thing. I wanted to be in the military, and this desire was elevated by the constant influx of the disconnect I was feeling with those around me.

“Whitney” is a compilation of music that sings of the joys and pains of love. Throughout my life I have been deemed a fool for love. Even when you give your best, it is not good enough. Today, I am returning to the place where “Whitney” gave me comfort. I am forced to revisit a painful moment and reflect. I am encouraged to know that my life, though not perfect, has been a mix of doing what I wanted as well as what others would have me do. Not everyone that comes into your life is meant to be there but to make an impression. Letting go allows the new to flow.

I have been swarming with emotions over the last few months. This week with the passing of Whitney Houston, I have gained a new perspective. I am trusting that the decisions I made were real and deserve their reward. It is time to accept the past pains, and let go, everything, and all things and people associated with that pain. Time has showed me that I can do all things through Christ, the source of my strength.

People curl up their nose still at Bobby Brown. Whitney chose him. For whatever reason, be it low self-esteem, or loving a man that everyone deemed faulty wiring, or seeking a love that could grant you a ‘ghetto pass’, Whitney made a bad decision. I knew it was bad from the onset. I am sure many advised her against it. Sometimes great decisions are made and we lament, wondering if we did the right thing.

I take from this, a very simple conclusion. We cannot know if the decisions we make in our youth will break us or make us. However, if someone or something is not good for you and appears to do more harm to you than good, let it go. Accept that this person’s part in your life may not be forever. Just because someone has what appears to be glory does not mean that they are happy. People who have money often lose themselves in the world of money and its power to create happiness where it does not exist.

Do we deserve to not have happiness? Not at the expense of others pain! We get what we give. If we do not get the love we expect, consider the love you did not give, not necessarily the one you are giving. Maybe it is time to give love to the people you have taken for granted? In the evolution of life it appears that what we experience in the present is the result of our past. And if this holds true, believing that your life will be fascinating and full of blooms is okay, but know that you have to meet up somewhere in time with the past you stumbled through. It is not meant to bruise you but remind you that your transgressions and your blessings touched people in very interesting ways. Reminisce, make peace, move forward.

I do not think that anyone wanted to remind Whitney that she was a failure, but to hopefully show her how her decisions could have been better if the knowledge was there to do better. And then once you know better, you do better. But sometimes the decisions we make last for a lifetime. Whitney’s voice was never the same after the years of drugs. She loved her voice and wanted to share it with the world. She had fans that loved her and she forgot about us. She followed the way of the ones who criticized her, the ones that really did not matter. She learned the lesson after the experience. We learned the lesson through her experience. It's funny how God sends us teachers but still we do not 'get it' until years later.

Why do we do that? It is not the fans we love to hear from but the critics whose bruises affect us most. We need to change that view. We obsessed too much over those who do not really matter. We waste countless hours lamenting and buying the love and affection from those who are not there for us, but there until we no longer meet their expectations or serve their purpose.

I have been blessed to have met some awesome people in my life. I did not know their worth when I was younger. I spent so much time trying to please people who did not really care about me. But I never used anyone to replace something or someone lost. I set a lot of people free. And I think it was a blessing for them. Shamefully, others do not feel the same. They stump over people, break their spirit, simply because they happened to be there, present, kind, and unfettered.

But this is a new day. Although we all lament and desire to change once we realize that we have an opportunity to have what we lost, sometimes that is not the case. Opportunities do not always present themselves. In life, it is important that we take a little moment to examine ourselves, the life we live, the people who surround us, and the things we value.

It is not a lost cause. Accept that the decisions you made were made for good reason. Nothing or no one is perfect. And do not allow your anger with someone’s response to you to allow you to reject your worth. Take a little time to revisit yourself and validate who you are and what you have to offer. Then, allow yourself to relinquish things from your life that are not good for you. It is not necessary to confront people you think have wronged you. Show them that they can go. The door swings both ways. Sometimes it seems that when we have nothing else to control in our lives, we control the people and the things around us that we can. And those closest in proximity is usually those we love and who loves us.

Some people simply do not deserve the love you give freely.

Wake up calls do come. I recognize the importance of flying solo. I do not mean to vacate people from my life. I am simply showing them the exits and making them aware that they are not obligated to stay. The door is open, but it is open if they choose to walk through it. Closure for good is still an option. After the reunion, if there is one, things are no longer the same. You are changed by the experience. Once you realize that you have regained your power, you do not need to mince words. Sure, you do not need to bludgeon people with your platitudes. However, you can be blunt, honest, and real. You can lovingly tell them, it is not the same, and only time will get you back to a place of comfort. Do you care to invest time it takes to reboot?

Lent is approaching. It is a season of sacrifice and humility. I think it is time to revisit that place of letting go the things that mean no good or keep you from growing. I wish that Whitney had a do over, where drugs did not rob her of her gifts. I think her experience is supposed to teach us. I have learned a lot through her life and her music. And I will take from it many things that will undoubtedly force me to let go of things nonessential and embrace the things that are essential. If someone wants to be there, they will be there and will show you what you mean to them at every turn. Trust and believe in what they reveal. It is painful to see that you are allowing them a chance and they are throwing it all away. But recognize the blessing this is in spite of it all.

You still have value and the right people will see it. Do not waste your time trying to prove yourself to those who may not care one way or another. You are important. You have a purpose. You have gifts to share.

Ernestine Sheperd: BudyBuilder—My Generation