i don’t regret my past, just the time i wasted with the wrong people

This is quote from a title given to a group of messages and inspirational statements on Facebook. As my 25^th class reunion approaches, I realized that I spent years avoiding and dodging reunions with a large group of people that I hardly knew. I did not realize in doing so that I was keeping myself static with a group a people I thought I knew.

Often we keep ourselves from progressing and branching off into new grounds by keeping the things most familiar close. I realized that I am no more attached to the past as I am a stranger to the future. The past is old and done, and sometimes friends are for seasons.

As time moves forward, some of us grow spiritually, physically, and numerically, but if we still see the world and rationalize it as we once did 25 years ago, then how much have we grown?

I struggled for years wondering why the people who I cared for so much looked upon me with the utmost criticism. I have been called a snob, arrogant, and difficult to understand. I was told ‘I can’t get a take on you” and “you’ll never find money on the ground with your nose in the air”. It took some time for me to realize this, but I had long outgrown some people even before I met them. The reason: I see the world differently than a lot of the people who want to get to know me.

It took 25 years almost to come into full admission that a lot of the people I held in such high esteem were kept in the coffers for too long. I was never one to dismiss friends, people who had been there for me during the most difficult times. However, it became real to me that my growth continued as theirs waned. We outgrew each other, but to me we could still find similarities to keep us going.

I did not realize how much I was despised until I made sickness and early retirement look ‘too easy’. Now that Facebook has brought me in touch with a few people that I knew, some barely and many not at all, I have discovered this to be a metaphor for my life. It is time to move onward. As hard as it once was to believe that it is not me who as changed, but those around me, it is apparent that throughout life people place limits upon themselves and hate those around them who test said limits and surpass even their own expectations.

I do not expect anything but acceptance. I am so comfortable being with myself that I really do not need the company of others to be happy. Life has taught me many things through loss and gain. People come into your life for a reason, a season, and some for a lifetime. When people want to get out of your life by words or deeds, let them go. Know that your destiny is not tied to anyone who chooses to depart from you or fails to see you as you are, or believes you cannot be understood. It is not you. It is them. 

Let them go. Realize that the time spent was for a purpose, and when the time is over, it is over. The past was teaching moment, so do not regret it. Only regret the time wasted, which were the moments you spent lamenting if it is over knowing well that what is done, is done. 

the black tea spritz

The black tea rinse was a recent find for me on this natural hair journey. Fans of the black tea rinse rave about its ability to reduce shedding as the caffeine content blocks its contributor, the hormone DHT. The longer my hair becomes, the more I tend to notice it shedding. Sure the 50-100 strands daily is echoed as normal, but not for someone my age. I need to keep as much on my head as I can. LOL. YouTube has done it again.

I am still amazed at how much knowledge I'm gaining over this nearly four year evolution to natural hair. I am a YouTube fanatic. It is the anchor to my journey. Although I am pulling away from subscriptions that sponsor products and endorsements, it is my encyclopedia for knowledge of hair care still. I found a few people, none of which in recent years, who pronounced the goodness of black tea added to castor oil. That is my next venture when I whip up my next batch of natural 'oils'.

I even found viewers deny it's potency and ability to reduce hair shedding. I figured, it's natural. I will try it. I love it!

I think I made too much, however I am an avid user of oils and butters which this usage will help moisturize away the alleged dryness that can occur. I do not do rinses. I put my black tea into a tiny spritz bottle and spritz away.  So far so good. If it becomes a fail, I will certainly discontinue using it.

I am presently amazed at the immediate results.

Gabby Douglas Olympic Gold Medalist, all-around London '12

On the auspice of Gabrielle Douglas' Olympic Gold Medal, a prize for a feat that makes her the first African American to earn, a few distasteful critics can only find that her hair is not perfect. That is sad. It is even more sad to know that people who share her skin color, roots, and heritage are the culprits in this sucker punch.

I purposefully blocked and even unfriended a few people over the years for lighter judgments. Can I tell you how many will get the dagger of my block!

What are we teaching our youth? that our straight tresses are more important than our talent? that talent is secondary to how America deems us attractive?

Black people are keeping themselves in shackles, and blaming it all on THE MAN.

How many of us had the courage and dedication to pursue this dream, let it coronate on the Olympic stage, and claim its top prize? Simply how many of us find that her hair which is not scored on this stage to be a blight on her image.
I do not know if Gabrielle Douglas wanted a creamy crack touch up or if she decided to embrace her natural roots and move away from the appendage of superficial facades.

She is more than her hair. She is Olympic Gold, who happens to be the first African American Woman to claim the prize in the individual all-around, the first American Woman to claim both the team and all-around in an Olympic tour. I am proud to have seen her grace the stage in my lifetime. At 16, she inspires  me. May she continue to shine.

protein yogurt fruit bars

*This recipe is designed for the 6 count Tupperware Mold or equivalent
1 cup of frozen fruit or berries
1/2 cup banana
1/2 cup of Plain Yogurt
3/4 cup of Soy Milk
3 pkgs sweetner (depending how sweet you like it)
1 T of Lemon Juice

1) Add all ingredients in a food processor or blender and blend until smooth.
2) Pour into popsicle molds and freeze for about 4 to 6 hours or until set.
3) If you find them difficult to remove from the mold, dip the bottom of the popsicle mold in warm water for about 5 seconds and they should come out nice and easy.