2012 fitness at-a-glance

As I look back on the year of 2012, I rejoice with such gladness. I know that sounds so cliché, however while tweaking my workout schedule for January 2013, I realized I wanted to push myself a little for January. I have noticed that my recovery has sped up tremendously from day to day. I do believe that somewhat has to do with my change of sleep arrangements. With that said, I would like to share some of the results on this last day of the year 2012.

When 2012 began, I was pretty much only doing three sets in the gym (10, 12, 15). I was only running about 4-5 times a month. By the years end my sets increased from three to four (8, 10, 12, 15), and I went from training for 10Ks to actually running them. I completed two, one in the summer and one in the fall, both in Detroit. In December 2012, worked out more days in the month than ever before, this included more runs.  I went from averaging 5 – 7 miles per week to 12 – 15. Wow! Just Wow!

Another huge growth for me which is quite consistent with the leg strength (incurred from lunges, squats, step ups, and stretching my long runs from 5.5 to 8 miles) was my increased time in the static wall squat. I went from 2 minutes to 4.5, in three sets to four. Another amazing growth for me was pushing myself to run in better than comfortable weather conditions.

I thank God so much for crowning me with wisdom. I hope that my journey continues to bless and inspire others to reach their own goals.

           Jan/February 2012/3 sets                   Nov/December 2012/4 sets

DB Bench Press max. 50 lbs.	DB Bench Press max. 60 lbs.
One-Arm DB row max. 25 lbs.	One-Arm DB row max. 35 lbs.
Seated row max. 90 lbs.	Seated row max. 100 lbs.
Back Ext. max. 165 lbs.	Back Ext. max. 185 lbs.
DB Curl max. 20 lbs.	DB Curl max. 25 lbs.
Leg Press max. 130 lbs.	Leg Press max. 170 lbs.
Leg Curl max. 100 lbs.	Leg Curl max. 105 lbs.
Hip Adductor/Abduct. max. 230 lbs.	Hip Adductor/Abduct. max. 250 lbs.
Static Wall Squat max. 2 minutes.	Static Wall Squat max. 4.5 minutes.

Here's to a strong start and an even stronger finish for 2013!

spinach...my new best bud

In marinara sauce, in an omelet, on a sandwich, as a salad, tossed in pasta, in a smoothie…you name it, I have tried it.

Spinach has become my new best friend. It has not replaced other vegetables. It merely has replaced my salad green otherwise known as the green most likely to be found in the fridge. When I buy a bag or a bunch, it will last me about a week. If I use it within two weeks, it’s all good. I like it far better than romaine but I still will do a salad of mixed greens. 

Spinach has a variety of uses. I am not compelled to only eat raw salads. Not that I’m abhorred to it. Sometimes I just don’t want a salad. Sometimes a little spinach livens up an ordinary tossed salad. I will take it any way I can, except for in the can. YUCK!

The nutritional information is astounding. One cup raw yields a tiny 7 calories, 1 carbohydrate, 1 protein, and 1 dietary fiber! Whoop! Whoop!

This food is low in Saturated Fat, and very low in Cholesterol. It is also a good source of Niacin and Zinc, and a very good source of Dietary Fiber, Protein, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin E (Alpha Tocopherol), Vitamin K, Thiamin, Riboflavin, Vitamin B6, Folate, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium, Copper and Manganese.

Read More http://nutritiondata.self.com/facts/vegetables-and-vegetable-products/2626/2#ixzz2FE6daD3l

cold weather running

My fitness goal this year was to simply do more simply by getting out of my comfort zones. I ran my first official 10k in 80 degree weather. I did not run in September/October because I was semi repairing/rehab an injury I incurred doing hill sprints on the tread. I have never run outside past October 1^st. This year I did the 10k Thanksgiving Turkey Trot. Since then, I have clocked two inclement weather runs. I am surprisingly enjoying it. It only makes sense to put this expensive cold gear to work. If I continue to press along, I'll gladly reward the effort with more gear. 

The farthest distance ran so far is just over 7 miles! Woop! Woop! 

What has helped me transition into cold weather running is to keep the heat off. As tempting as it has been to crank on the heat at home, I have simply layered up on clothes and donned socks. I do knock the chill off in the car and have pulled out my heated seat pad.

I’m taking each run as it comes. I’m trying to be very smart and conscientious of injury prevention while still keeping the air in my lungs outdoors. I love it so far. I mix up my runs and the plan is to increase my weekly mileage for the winter whether indoors or outside. I have purchased an e-book for improving my 10K race time. I’ve only glimpsed at it because I want to keep my training unofficial for Jan/Feb.

For March-May, I’ll be ready to put the e-book to some really good use. Right now, I’m simply running for enjoyment. There is no race in sight. I’m simply working on posture, breathing, endurance, and speed. 

In the meantime, I do need to work on getting head gear and under wear.

bean pie

Use a prepared crust or make your own to cover an 8-9 inch pie plate. Preheat oven @ 350 degrees. Make sure all ingredients are room temperature. It makes for better evenly cooked pie. As your pie reaches its maximum cooking time, a brown crust will start to form. Do not worry. This is what you want! If it appears to be browning unevenly, simply turn it gently or rotate your baking sheet. 

1 can of Northern/Navy Beans

1 cup unsweetened almond milk

2 T flour

1 cup of sugar converted to 24 pkgs. Stevia

1 T vanilla

¼  t cinnamon

¼  t cloves

¼  t nutmeg

2 eggs

1 stick of butter

---

Mix all ingredients in a blender except for sugar and vanilla. Blend ingredients until smooth. Pour into a bowl and mix in sugar and vanilla. Prepare shell, prick with a fork. Cover edges and bake until lightly brown. Let it cool. Pour mixture into shell, bake @ 350 degrees for 1-1 1/2 hours, til toothpick comes clean. 

Remove pie from oven. Cover it with a sheet of saran wrap. Allow to cool to room temperature. Serve. Enjoy!

just do it...KSWISS style

Everyone who knows I run know that I supremely endorse the KSWISS Tubes Run 100 athletic shoes. I purchased three new pair after recycling over six pairs of Nike's. You'd think I'd pull out one of those new strides to hit the pavement in the Detroit Thanksgiving Turkey Trot 10k, but no...

I was thinking fashionable. I adorned my cold gear, courtesy of UnderArmour who is my go-to for cold weather running. My turtleneck was fuchsia so I could not imagine sporting anything other than my older tread-beaten bubble-gum pink accented Tubes. Thank God I had enough support to run the pavement in Downtown Detroit. The weather was beautiful. This was historical for me.

I did have a sudden case of buyers remorse. I did not get any sleep the night before. I was determined to not take a nap on Wednesday so that I could get a long eight hour sleep before awaking at 5 a.m. That did not happen. I slipped into a comfy nap and awoke around 8 p.m. I knew it was trouble ahead. I tried but could not fall asleep that night so I wound up working on my running playlist for the run and wished for the best.

It seemed to be extra dark Thursday morning. I soon discovered the reason why. There was a dense layer of fog that I feared would never end. I kept thinking that I should turn around, go home, this is crazy. I soldiered on. I was then shuttled into a line for Joe Louis Parking Garage. Oh no! I kept thinking, "I'll never make it on time."

The race was delayed. With over 22,000 racers laced and ready to go, it took me 20 minutes just to nudge my way over the starting line. My finish was about the time of my first 10k. This was my second and the temperature was very different.

The weather was wonderful for a parade. I'm happy to know that my donation will continue to support the annual event.

another great find

Since I have become an ex-natural I am discovering that hair is not an exact science. I'm still a work in progress. This new conditioner I found is one proof of that. For two years I was under the impression that I had found the holy grail of works in the Dollar Store. This bottle not only reminded me of my Suave Professionals, but the price just couldn't be beat. It has a list of natural ingredients and it does appear to be free of sulfates. Wow!

But that is not why I am sharing. My hair enjoys this. I untangle loose strands before going under water. My hair sheds far less and I'm thrilled. Keep it simple. Washing my hair is more of a ritual to open the cuticle and allow nourishment inside. It is not play time. I absolutely love it. For a $1 or less, it simply cannot be beat.

voting against tyranny

This is the primary reason I voted for the other guy. The second most important reason was due to the Bush War. The last time I trusted a man to lead me to fiscal balance, he took me to war over someone else's natural resource instead of defining our own resources, which could have created more jobs.

sleeping on the floor

First, I’ll start this post by saying that this is not for everyone. Some people will never commence the experiment because it goes against their Western Philosophy. If you even venture on the existential path, you’ll try it and you will love it.

Second, I did not try this as an experiment. I simply was tired of waking up tired and disoriented. I’m not sure if it was the mattress or what. I remember loving it so much as a kid during Friday video night sleepovers. The moment I could afford a luxurious mattress, I thought it was necessary to sleep in a bed to be considered elevated to some high level of consciousness.

Third, the floor matters. Allergies are a common reason why some avoid the floor altogether especially if the floor is carpeted. I debunked that myth not because I was trying to, but because I needed to find another way. I was not getting the quality of sleep I needed to produce fabulous workout results.

Tired of being tired…

Yes, after two plus years running, walking, lifting weights, cycling, yoga…the entire gamut…I was getting tired of exercising. I was suffering back aches that would bring me to tears. I either hated exercising or hated sleeping in my bed.

I am almost now afraid of investing in fancy bed fearing my workouts will suffer. Imagine investing hundreds of dollars in a ergo bed and realizing that it is tanking every aspect of your awake life?

I cannot even consider going down that road. I will consider keeping my carpet allergen free and staying on the floor for now.

My back and neck aches are dissolved. My hip joints are open, increasing flexibility. My runs are thus better. I just feel better overall. This is my life, and it works for me. Find what works for you. The most simple things have the greatest value.

dry shaving with talc

For the past few years I have been dry shaving with talc powder. I grew tired of the bumps, the irritation, and skin discolorations from wet shaving. Good bye to shaving creams. I no longer require them.

How to:

1. Wash the area clean and pat dry.
2. Apply talc powder.
3. Shave.

It's that easy.

There is no particular razor that I recommend. I purchase the disposables because they are most efficient. However, I did once receive a very cute razor with interchangeable blade heads for a birthday gift. That was many years ago and now I cannot even recall the name.

I tried using electric dry clipper/trimmers but they just do not get close enough.

de-load

What is it? Purpose? How can I achieve this?

De-load or de-loading is a phase in which you place the body into a decreased level of activity by a small margin or cessation for a short period of time. The purpose is to provide about a week to recover from exercise.

During this layover or layoff, you can focus on nutrition, spend time researching a new exercise to fold into the new regime, get a massage, clean your house, restock your reserves, or simply relaxing and doing a total body cleanse.

I never knew how important this was although I have been familiar with it for years. I discovered that as we stay the course of a rigid routine, taking little time for rest, our bodies get overloaded with fatigue, never fully recovering before we swoop in and fire it up to go to the next phase.

Years ago, I would do cleanses each season. Since becoming a pescatarian, I don’t feel the need to cut food and juice. Don’t get me wrong, juicing is fabulous and I own one. This year, I have not juiced as much because I am focusing more on the whole foods that I eat and eliminating vitamins as much as possible.

Eventually, I will be only on an OMEGA/vegMulti.

I was set to roll out my new Sept/Oct routine straight out of the August program, not realizing that we’re facing fall, the fall runs, flu season, etc. and it has been since May that I cut and rested. My body had been feeling as if it was running into a stitch. You just know!

It was then I realized it’s time to de-load. I had to tweak the September schedule to adjust for the last week of Aug. to be a de-load week.  

Now that de-load is finally over fall can officially come into my workout routine with a front-loading vacation to commence the season. I can pick up where I left off and hit the ground running, literally.

de-load observations:

Flexibility:

My front right split was tight. It’s loosening and I can feel more relaxed, less tense when I move into it.

My full split stretches are looser, as I’m approaching 180 degrees-10.

Strength:

Upper/Back stronger, increased push-ups.  I may need to adjust the weights on my rows.

Abs stronger, more engaged during my routines.

Endurance:

Not tested yet. 

i don’t regret my past, just the time i wasted with the wrong people

This is quote from a title given to a group of messages and inspirational statements on Facebook. As my 25^th class reunion approaches, I realized that I spent years avoiding and dodging reunions with a large group of people that I hardly knew. I did not realize in doing so that I was keeping myself static with a group a people I thought I knew.

Often we keep ourselves from progressing and branching off into new grounds by keeping the things most familiar close. I realized that I am no more attached to the past as I am a stranger to the future. The past is old and done, and sometimes friends are for seasons.

As time moves forward, some of us grow spiritually, physically, and numerically, but if we still see the world and rationalize it as we once did 25 years ago, then how much have we grown?

I struggled for years wondering why the people who I cared for so much looked upon me with the utmost criticism. I have been called a snob, arrogant, and difficult to understand. I was told ‘I can’t get a take on you” and “you’ll never find money on the ground with your nose in the air”. It took some time for me to realize this, but I had long outgrown some people even before I met them. The reason: I see the world differently than a lot of the people who want to get to know me.

It took 25 years almost to come into full admission that a lot of the people I held in such high esteem were kept in the coffers for too long. I was never one to dismiss friends, people who had been there for me during the most difficult times. However, it became real to me that my growth continued as theirs waned. We outgrew each other, but to me we could still find similarities to keep us going.

I did not realize how much I was despised until I made sickness and early retirement look ‘too easy’. Now that Facebook has brought me in touch with a few people that I knew, some barely and many not at all, I have discovered this to be a metaphor for my life. It is time to move onward. As hard as it once was to believe that it is not me who as changed, but those around me, it is apparent that throughout life people place limits upon themselves and hate those around them who test said limits and surpass even their own expectations.

I do not expect anything but acceptance. I am so comfortable being with myself that I really do not need the company of others to be happy. Life has taught me many things through loss and gain. People come into your life for a reason, a season, and some for a lifetime. When people want to get out of your life by words or deeds, let them go. Know that your destiny is not tied to anyone who chooses to depart from you or fails to see you as you are, or believes you cannot be understood. It is not you. It is them. 

Let them go. Realize that the time spent was for a purpose, and when the time is over, it is over. The past was teaching moment, so do not regret it. Only regret the time wasted, which were the moments you spent lamenting if it is over knowing well that what is done, is done. 

the black tea spritz

The black tea rinse was a recent find for me on this natural hair journey. Fans of the black tea rinse rave about its ability to reduce shedding as the caffeine content blocks its contributor, the hormone DHT. The longer my hair becomes, the more I tend to notice it shedding. Sure the 50-100 strands daily is echoed as normal, but not for someone my age. I need to keep as much on my head as I can. LOL. YouTube has done it again.

I am still amazed at how much knowledge I'm gaining over this nearly four year evolution to natural hair. I am a YouTube fanatic. It is the anchor to my journey. Although I am pulling away from subscriptions that sponsor products and endorsements, it is my encyclopedia for knowledge of hair care still. I found a few people, none of which in recent years, who pronounced the goodness of black tea added to castor oil. That is my next venture when I whip up my next batch of natural 'oils'.

I even found viewers deny it's potency and ability to reduce hair shedding. I figured, it's natural. I will try it. I love it!

I think I made too much, however I am an avid user of oils and butters which this usage will help moisturize away the alleged dryness that can occur. I do not do rinses. I put my black tea into a tiny spritz bottle and spritz away.  So far so good. If it becomes a fail, I will certainly discontinue using it.

I am presently amazed at the immediate results.

Gabby Douglas Olympic Gold Medalist, all-around London '12

On the auspice of Gabrielle Douglas' Olympic Gold Medal, a prize for a feat that makes her the first African American to earn, a few distasteful critics can only find that her hair is not perfect. That is sad. It is even more sad to know that people who share her skin color, roots, and heritage are the culprits in this sucker punch.

I purposefully blocked and even unfriended a few people over the years for lighter judgments. Can I tell you how many will get the dagger of my block!

What are we teaching our youth? that our straight tresses are more important than our talent? that talent is secondary to how America deems us attractive?

Black people are keeping themselves in shackles, and blaming it all on THE MAN.

How many of us had the courage and dedication to pursue this dream, let it coronate on the Olympic stage, and claim its top prize? Simply how many of us find that her hair which is not scored on this stage to be a blight on her image.
I do not know if Gabrielle Douglas wanted a creamy crack touch up or if she decided to embrace her natural roots and move away from the appendage of superficial facades.

She is more than her hair. She is Olympic Gold, who happens to be the first African American Woman to claim the prize in the individual all-around, the first American Woman to claim both the team and all-around in an Olympic tour. I am proud to have seen her grace the stage in my lifetime. At 16, she inspires  me. May she continue to shine.

protein yogurt fruit bars

*This recipe is designed for the 6 count Tupperware Mold or equivalent
1 cup of frozen fruit or berries
1/2 cup banana
1/2 cup of Plain Yogurt
3/4 cup of Soy Milk
3 pkgs sweetner (depending how sweet you like it)
1 T of Lemon Juice

1) Add all ingredients in a food processor or blender and blend until smooth.
2) Pour into popsicle molds and freeze for about 4 to 6 hours or until set.
3) If you find them difficult to remove from the mold, dip the bottom of the popsicle mold in warm water for about 5 seconds and they should come out nice and easy.

my first 10K

I usually run intervals up to 6 miles once per week. Initially when Spring commenced I was graciously running three times per week on the nearby track. However our Spring fired up rather quickly and running in the heat became nearly unbearable...rather fast! Therefore, I moved my runs into the gym, recommencing with intervals.

I knew that someday, this year I would likely get to run a 10K. It was made possible by a friend who introduced me to a run that she was participating in. She was going to run her first 5K. I decided it was time to jump in. Surely common sense was telling me that the heat would make this torture. I soldiered on!

I even have a medal and t-shirt to commemorate the event. The drive in and out was hell. The heat was excructiating. I predicted I could do it in 90 minutes. In spite of the heat, which was comparable to sticking your head into an oven to check on dinner, but leaving it there for over an hour, I was more than happy to complete this feat, then wiggle onward to yoga the next day.

hair growth update

I know I promised myself that the summer months were ridiculous times to straighten my hair, but I caved. You see, I have been on a new hair regimen as you know of applying lots of water, leave-in conditioning, and Shea Butter to seal. I wanted to see how those results panned.

I am amazed! My hair appears fuller, maybe even grew an inch or so since the last check in March/April. I see the greatest results at the crown and the top. 

Now that I know that what I’ve been doing brings the results, I must say that this blow, press, and iron were especially made possible due to Olive Heat Protection Spray by Silk Elements and Mimosa Hair Honey.

My hair even looks blacker! It does not have that look of dullness. I am so happy with the results. I will continue this process of co-washing, leave-in, water, and Shea Butter sealant for the duration.

It doesn't matter much to me to have long hair if the hair is not healthy.

Yes!

sweet potato belgian waffle

1/2 c oat flour
1/3 c egg white
1/3 c sweet potato
1/3 c lime soda
1/2 t vanilla
1 pkg stevia
pinch of cinnamon
pinch of nutmeg

blend until smooth. pour about a cup of batter onto hot, waffle iron. check for readiness. serve with hot syrup.

top ten...for the new fitness and natural health year

Welcome to July...so it seems that I am now one year officially...a non meat eater. This anniversary was actually on the 28th of June, but I thought 'what a nice way to kick off July...with a post of what this year shall bring'.

Here it is. I no longer season my food with pork! I know. I will not even eat food prepared by others seasoned with meat. My new go-to for seasoning is natural seasons of course and vegetable broth.

If it's organic Chicken Broth I'll do it...because only then do I know that the chicken's weren't fed GMO's.

Second order, which I've already started doing since last month...is drinking more water, like doubling what I usually consume...and oh boy what a difference it has made already in my body! my hair...my skin...oh!

Third order...walk more...yes! This has already commenced as well. I only will drive the car maybe two times a week. These are the days that I go to LAFIT for classes. The walk to Briarwood is a little over 10 miles round trip. If I include the workout...this could be a little taxing, time lamenting, and dangerous if I'm out too early or too late trying to get there or get home.

Fourth order, continue to toss away products that are not being used from my shelf. Now, I have invested a lot of money into Carol's Daughter and Jason Naturals, so those product lines I will be using until they expire.

I love Carol's Daughter Healthy Hair Butter...all around, I cannot see parting from this. However, Shea Butter has become an inexpensive sealant I just can't deny!

Fifth Order...Continue to cook more and prepare more meals at home. I already do this, but I want to do it more. Things like Salsa, I will make at home! yeah!

Sixth Order...organization. I'm slow on this one because workouts, nutrition, rest, and my hair have consumed my time. Once I get organized...I intend to maintain by possessing a designated time to do...a, b, c...

Seventh order...start my natural hair care accessories page on Espy and begin promoting it on FACEBOOK.

Eighth order...add yoga...to my week. I have already commenced this as well. Tough as it can be, the results are undeniable. Love it!

Ninth order...start school and commit to finishing early!

Tenth order...pray and meditate daily. Let it flow. That means deep yoga stretchs daily, centering, thanking the higher power in the universe for the blessing of the day's gift.

why tilapia?

Tilapia Fish Cakes

I was mostly a white bass lover. Drive by FRESH FISH HOUSE, any location locally and we'll need to pull over, park, so I can dash in and order a large white bass-head chopped, split, leave the tail on. Yes, fry it! Wheat bread and lots of hot sauce.

However, if you check my freezer, tilapia is the only fish I purchase. I do consume seafood varieties in the form of shrimp, lobster, and crab. However, in the fish family it's none other than tilapia.

Why?

Tilapia is primarily and often entirely a vegetarian fish. It consumes a cereal diet, whereas most other fishes (my white bass) are carnivorous.

It has been regarded as the fish St. Peter (found with the coin in its mouth).

It has very low levels of mercury, though low in Omega 3.

It is a very inexpensive fish, easily farmed, thus leading to its growing popularity. You can find this fish at any store.

water is my bff!

As a natural, we often say water is our friend. Water is the ISH! Washing your hair with it is one way, not fearing it ruining your natural coif is another. The big daddy of them all is how a tiny bottle with a little hot water, spritzed lightly over your twists, helps to keep them butter soft.

I am still learning. This is a journey with me through the natural world, as my health and wellness journey is filled with new discoveries. On this journey I found things that served me very little purpose.

I love Carol’s Daughter products. I have not tried them all and I probably will not need to. However, the best thing in the fray is the Healthy Hair Butter, hands down. This is like hair crack. Seriously, I could retire my journey with this. Unfortunately, it is expensive. Now I can budget for it, but it is best that I use it sparingly, once a week maybe to lock down the twists following my co-wash in Shea/Almond by Suave. After about 2 days, it is Now Shea Butter to the rescue along with my secret leave-ins. Instead of coating my hair with Shea and over piling on the goodness, I simply learned to do this on day 2 or 3 and then follow each morning or night with a light spray of water, tie my hair down, and let the moisture of the water and creamy oil texture of the butters get reacquainted.

By the last day of my workout stints before the day off reprieve, I wash it. Oh how I have the best times in the shower washing my hair with conditioners. I mentioned that I am moving gradually away from shampoos. My hair does not suffer with dandruff anymore. Therefore, the shampoos I purchased with dandruff in mind are sitting in the cupboard, virtually unusable.

It’s a slow process, but I am discarding a lot of this stuff. I refuse to use them on my hair just to be rid of them, so to the trash they will go. I will keep Cream of Nature, Jason’s (of course), Carol’s Daughter Vanilla poo/con, and perhaps even try other Suave or VO5 clarifying conditioners.

I am very satisfied with Suave Almond/Shea conditioner as my mainstay. Some of the products are great for when I go straight, like the Cream of Nature conditioning shampoo. However, in the meantime, the once per week washes will consist of three wash cycles…clarifying shampoo, clarifying conditioner, then the love of my life “almond/shea” co-wash.

Daily sprays with my bff…and I am all good. No, I have not forgotten about my hair grease…it’s still a love of mine. We shall see how my bff enjoys grease. Stay tuned!

halle should buy a clue~

Recently, as the news reports the courts have ruled in Gabe's favor, ordering Halle to fork over $20,000 to Gabe for child support, in order that Nahla, a child torn between two people who love her, can continue seamlessly to live in the lifestyle while in her mother's custody.

Uterus aside, I think the courts clearly are trying to send a message to Halle that her money, power, and influence trumps her 'sky is falling' prediction regarding Gabe and the random perps she claims are placing her child in eminent danger.

I bet if she hadn't threw in all of that 'fear' for my child shit, she wouldn't be paying this. The farther it seems she goes, the more she makes Gabe appear like the victimized father who simply wants to be with his child.

I've always said if she kept her rants in her belly and farted them out, she'd be a more credible witness on her own defense. Instead, Gabe is coming off as the lesser of two fools and that is no place for him to be if her claims be true. Taking Nahla to Paris is not a permanent venue for Halle and anyone who knows her could testify to that. Her home is USA. Her family is here. She has no contacts to Paris. By her US citizenry alone, she trumps Gabe's residency.

Paris is a bitch ass move. The more she presses it and the desire to muck up Gabe and get his rights terminated, the more it appears she's drinking Olivier's kool-aid. If Olivier gets her on his soil, marries her, adopts Nahla, he could fuck that child sideways, and there's nothing Barack Obama or the Special Forces can do to bring Nahla home. She would be Olivier's child and Halle could even wind up losing her rights to Nahla in Paris. She's needs to buy a fucking clue. Dumb ass!

Paris sounds like a move Olivier is pushing subliminally. Halle could give a flying fuck about Paris. She just wants to 'win'. But her own desires to punish the only person who could be Nahla's greatest ally against Olivier's grooming potential is getting her no fans in the probate.

No matter how much money she has or how racist Gabe could be, he's the child's father and she has yet to prove he's a danger to Nahla, only a threat to anyone who tries to impose their 'restrictions' upon his parental rights.

hairstory, know your type

As a naturalista for nearly four years, this journey has been a labor of love. I was enslaved for 30 plus years to chemical relaxers and really did not know why. It started as a child and it continued through adult life. I was programmed to believe that straighter hair grew simply because kinky hair was evil.

To sum it up, kinky hair is coiled tightly around itself. The natural oils that are secreted from our scalp travel down the strands and lubricate the hair. Finer textures or thicker textures, the truth is that hair with a looser curl patter grows apparently faster than coarse strands. Since hair has to be cleansed we wash this oil away, but a healthy scalp continues to secrete and thus the hair is replenished with its own natural lubrication. In coarse textures, the oil cannot travel down the shaft and lubricate the ends, which make coarse hair dryer on the ends. Hair is dead. To retain length hair must receive nutrition inside and out.

What is lost or absent must be replaced. I learned very quickly that the more my ends are coated with a sealant (combo of moisture/oil) the healthier my hair tends to be, grows and retains its growth. The longer the hair becomes, the more your hair requires artificial sealants. This means that you will spend more to maintain your tresses as it grows and retains length automatically by supply/demand. Nonetheless, longer hair does not have to be avoided.

Adopt a healthy hair regimen and stick with it. As I mentioned earlier, I evolved in this process through a lot of trials and errors. The goal is to maintain my hair with as few products as possible. I believe that once I confirm black castor oil, I will have arrived.

a curly girl...conditioner washing evolution

Over 20 years ago when working in the adult foster care industry, I regularly transported clients to SuperMarts in the local area. With the clients small budgets I consciously steered them towards less expensive items. Undoubtedly shampoo regularly appeared on client shopping lists. The need for shampoo and conditioner dialed us towards VO5, White Rain, and Suave. I never new African American's could use these brands and get captivating results.

There has now  a trend on the natural globe that began long before someone penned a book and made conditioner wash/styling the go-to for curly girls. Since becoming a natural, I had to embrace the curl revolution instantly when I big chopped my hair Nov 2008. Now nearly four years into this world of curls I quickly evolved to conditioner washing simply for its softening results. I love my cheap conditioners. I also love the expensive ones. If the cheaper brands will garner the same or better results, it is a no-brainer. I am going for cheap!

Coupons are big to-do on small budgets. Before the year turns over I have begun to pledge to reducing my product margin to no more than 10 products, thus backing off the product junkie life. I am an enormous fan of shopping quantity if the budget and coupons allow. Recently, I embraced Suave's Professional Almond/Shea. First round I tried both the poo/co with amazing results. You simply cannot go wrong with you mix Conditioner with Shea and Almond.

I began to shift towards the 2 to 1 margin, conditioner and shampoo. Now, I am all about the Conditioners. Rarely do I find the need to clarify, since I have not deflected from the Sulfate poos.

No more poos...accept for clarifying.

coconut shrimp

*I usually serve with light fruity marmalade for dipping. You can pick this up at any local store. For this setting I used Apricot.

Peel and devein your shrimp. Set your fryer and prepare for a 400 degree prep for cooking.

***

Dry coating:

1/2 cup coconut

1/3 cup oat flour

1/4 cup whole wheat cracker crumbs

***

1 egg white

1 T organic unsweetened soy milk (or whatever milk you fancy)

1 T Whole Wheat Flour

Pat your shrimp dry. Season (to your desire with salt, pepper, garlic) and toss with flour. Whisk egg white and milk. Mix coconut, oat flour, and cracker crumbs. Spread on waxed paper. Coat shrimp in egg/milk then roll in dry coating. Drop into heated oil for 5-8 minutes or until golden brown. Strain. Serves 1.

spinach pies

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To make crust...

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup butter, chilled and diced

1/4 cup ice water

In a large bowl, combine flour and salt. Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Stir in water, a tablespoon at a time, until mixture forms a ball. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate for 4 hours or overnight.  

             

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Spinach pie filling...

Fresh Spinach
Salt/Pepper
White Onion chopped
Red Pepper Flakes
1T Olive Oil
Pepper Jack Cheese

Preheat oven at 375 degrees. Saute fresh spinach in oil. Add salt, pepper, pinch of pepper flakes, and 1/2 cup of chicken broth.

Bring to a boil and simmer for 20 minutes. Strain liquid from spinach and set aside.

Roll crusts out at room temp. Cut into circles or squares 3 inches diagonally or in diameter or larger. I prefer 5 inches to produce a surface to hold 3-5 T of spinach.

Spoon spinach onto crusts, sprinkle chopped onion and pepper jack cheese on top. Fold upwards to pinch and seal edges.

Bake in the oven at 375 degrees until golden brown on a nonstick sheet. Serve. You can freeze extras and eat leisurely. I usually make 2-4 at a time, store the leftovers in the refrigerator and eat within a day or two.

my favorite things—natural makeup

Years ago, I only wore a lip liner and a medium rose glossy tint. It took me less than two minutes to apply and I would be out the door. I never carried a makeup bag. Then in 2003 I joined a wellness company and struck gold. Nicole Miller was a lifesaver. I did not wear much foundation throughout the years but usually kept a staple in case I needed to cover an occasional blemish.

This list will grow as the year progresses. I want to tell you about this now, instead of waiting until Christmas.

On a trip to Sephora, I contemplated walking right back out, but decided that since I was no longer a residual player on the Nicole Miller team, it was time to find a new family. For years I watched infomercial after infomercial about Bare Minerals. It never convinced me.

My sensitive skin craves natural products. It loves oil free, water based goods. I sat in the chair and let a consultant give me the once over. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE BARE MINERALS. I also love tarte and JOSIE MARAN. Every time I wear it, my sister cannot stand not complimenting me. She’s even planning a visit to the SEPHORA store for a consult. 

hair grease haul

First, forget what you have been told about throwing away 'hair grease'.

When I started this natural hair journey, I was new. The last time I saw natural hair Muhammad Ali was fighting Leon Spinks. Yeah! Some of you folks born in the 80's forward have no idea what I am talking about.  Naturally speaking, the words of the wise are from tested true natural veterans with flowing locs.  Right?

Well, let me tell you a thing or two about ditching what you know once worked on your hair. Not everyone is the same. You will find this on YouTube. Most of the soft luscious wash-n-go girls are 3c and below with hair that shrinks but is fine textured to be manipulated without drying out. For us 4-type folks...uh...we need the twist outs and 'da grease'.

Not everyone is the same, even amongst the 4's. Some do not experience the shrinkage that  I encounter. Some do not like their hair so much that they wear weaves, braids, wigs, extensions, etc. 98% of the time when their hair is not flat-ironed or when doing 'length checks'. Listen up...they hardly blog about the wonderful ways their 4 type hair is styled daily. They hide!

Why? They hide because they are too chicken shit to admit that all of these oils and expensive materials pimped by the natural community for profit are not working for them. They do not want to deflect from the core, so they talk all of this chatter about 'protective styling' and hide their natural hair. Some even duck and run back to the creamy crack. Some, admit the truth and get back to the old ways that worked, which grew thick voluptuous ponies that everyone admired back in elementary school. You remember elementary school? That was the time when your mother still styled your hair, and it was long and thick, before you entered junior high and your poison fingers broke it all off.

My point here is that with all of my 3.5 years natural from a bald head, I started with what I knew. That consisted of the maintenance my mother used on my hair. As I branched out from a smooth bald head to a curly twa (teeny weeny afro) I wanted to see what others were doing with this 'hair' I discovered which was multi-textured. The good part is that I learned. Through this learning I became a product junkie, trying every product that I heard worked. I am not ashamed to say this. You learn by doing. No one sent me free tries so I was left to purchase my 'learning tools'. Sorry, student loan does not cover natural hair styling. Ha!

I will not list all of the products that I tried and tossed. It was a lot. I will tell you that I am ditching more of the stuff that does not work and adding GREASE! That is right. I am not talking about the stuff that you buy in a tiny tub for five dollars, with three trials and you are replacing it. I am speaking about the 1-3 dollar tubs of Bergamont, Castor Oil, and Coconut Oil. Royal Crown was a staple in my home. Some folks used Dixie Peach. Some had hair that just bathed in Dippity Doo (gel).

I know this. I need moisture and I need oil. Conditioner washes are better for me than Shampoo. Leave-ins are the bomb! Cheap Shampoo works! Cheap Conditioners work 10x better than the poos! I did discover a wonderful leave-in by a blogger on the YT. It consists of equal parts: aloe vera, conditioner, oil, and (water...my personal touch). I like my leave-in as a spray. I purchased little bottles to store it in, shake it up before applying, then add my GREASE! Yes sir! I am loving it!

Do you and do what works. Do not be afraid to try. By all means, when the trials fail to give you improved results, do not be afraid to go back home! We are not the rulers of the natural hair world. We do not own you or your journey.

the precious things we take for granted

No matter how many people die and leave us, there will always be those that will not understand or value the precious things that we are blessed with until they are gone. I learned how to let go of precious life very early. I lost my father when I was nine years old. I hold fond memories of him. That lost taught me to love those who I love without fail. As time lapsed, I grew from this lanky teen to a buxom young woman. Over that time life continued to slip out from my grasp.

At 17, there were all of the earmarks to becoming the woman I am today, only then everything was new and untested. Today, at 42 I recognize the things that are not important and the things that deserve the utmost attention. No matter the turns life take us through, some will never understand the beauty of the gifts we are given. Life brings enough struggles for us. It is undoubtedly a careless waste of time and life to take for granted the things that present themselves amidst the bleak and dank options that are so plenty.

When the people I love leave this world, I do not want to hang tirelessly onto their coffin, pleading to God for one more day, an hour to show them how much I loved them. When their time is done, I will salute them on their journey and may Godspeed. Not everyone values life the same. In spite of the precious gifts of love, we seek the attention of that which is unimportant. Instead of cherishing the days we have we look to what we do not have. Instead of counting our blessings, we lament on our sufferings.

And then we wonder why nothing changes in our lives, after toiling and begging for blood from a stone. The truth is here. Where we place our treasure is where our heart rests. Our gratitude for the small blessings allows for God to Bless us more abundantly.

beautiful skin

In my last post I mentioned the rediscovery of the steam pot tradition. It was something I faithfully used to relieve sinus pressure and occasionally subscribed to for at home Saturday facials. Well here are a few added bonuses for you acne sufferers out there.

First. Relax. Understand that acne is treatable. You may never solve the root causes but you can treat the symptoms like any other condition. Now if you find anything I mention here offensive, just remember that I am not a dermatologist. Any advice presented is for the purpose of blogging my own successes and failures in the treatment of the various skin disorders that make it next to impossible for me to use prescription medications. Most medications have the potential to work. The trouble is getting them to the target, which is beneath the skin layers where acne is rooted.

Second. Know your skin. You have to know what it is that doesn't work. In my discoveries, as I have mentioned, I suffer with at least three conditions: acne, rosacea, and eczema. They each require very specific treatments. You have to find the treatment that guards you against them all with the least amount of irritation. One thing I know for sure is that there will be a presentation of one or all of my conditions on a regular basis. My skin is not flawless and I do not expect that it will be. But I can minimize the outbreaks.

Third. You need a cleanser and an exfoliate. You need a toner. You need a topical medication. You need a natural oil for moisturizing.

I have used a varied amount of soaps and truly there is not one that works better than the rest. I simply tried what I heard would work, like a product junkie. I do know that what works for one may not work for others. Find one that cleanses with the most natural products. I am moving towards 'less is more' even with my hair care. Don't judge me. LOL. My favorite soaps are the Sulfur Bar, Ambi Complexion Bar, and Cetaphil Anti-Bac bar.

My favorite exfoliates are the buff, Ambi Even & Clear, St. Ives Naturally Clear Green Tea Scrub, and Boots Botanics Purifying Face Scrub. Anything else shows redness and irritation. These three items I could exchange for the other, budget dependent.

My favorite toners are a low grade alcohol, tea tree oil, Vitamin C splash, and Witch Hazel.

My topical solutions are any 10% benzoyl peroxide or 1-2% salicylic acid. My oils are vitamin E or Bio oil. I also use Ambi fade cream for even skin. It contains vitamin E and a sunscreen.

Fourth. After cleansing skin daily up to two times at least 8 hours apart, I steam it before or after soap cleansing. In the morning I steam it first. In the afternoon I steam it after. This is need dependent. Sometimes I even skip the bar cleansing if I do not leave the house. The steam is incredible. I like to use my citrus peels and a tea bag. This is green tea or peppermint. Any one you choose should be fine. After wiping gently away any loose particles using my toner, I steam again. Repeat the process up to three times. On the final I do not use a toner but gently apply my topical. My pores are open and the topical can go where it needs to do the most good, not sit on the top of the skin and irritate it. A light film to cover the entire face will do fine. Since my skin is wet from the steam only a tiny bit will go a long way. It dries as the moisture dries. Make sure to avoid the eye area but go to the edges of your face and even your neck if troubles are there too. Wait 10-15 minutes and apply your oil. Fade creams should not be applied in conjunction with benzoyl peroxide to avoid irritation.

If you follow this and it shows break outs that seem uncontrollable, do not lose your patience. Any treatment will follow with worsened conditions as your skin adjusts. I experienced this and was about to throw it all away until I realized in photos how much more my skin improved. I love how youthful it looks. Try not to: over dry your skin with product, irritate your skin by over scrubbing it during exfoliation, or rub excessively when applying toner. Be gentle with your skin. Pretend you are wiping over the membrane of an egg yolk, without breaking the seal.

Remember, you cannot clear imperfections (scarring) until you treat the irritations (acne, rosacea, eczema). After you get your irritations under control, you will begin to see your skin improve gradually even before the use of fade creams. Give it at least 30 days but follow a strict guideline. You have to follow the guide or else you cannot truthfully say it did not work. Patience.

skin...the traits we inherit

I guess it is hormones. I know the truth. Heredity plays a significant role in what you deal with or choose to ignore. As I have aged, it is remarkable how much my appearance is growing to favor that of my parents. At 12, I had this tree growing on my back. Of course it did not sprout roots or give fruit. It certainly needed pruning. Actually, it needed to be gone and fast. Dermatologists and my mother's careful loving hang, I was able to recover from my first bout with an eczema scar. Eczema? Yes, I call it my father's DNA. Years, later eczema is not the only disorder I have encountered in the Atopy triad. At 17, I encountered my first bout with hay fever, not to mention countless skin irritations that seemed to come out of no where. My skin was hypersensitive to everything. If something touched my hands, and my hands reached my face, a new outbreak would occur. For years, I believed the battle of teenage acne would end and a new life would emerge, allergy free.

Wrong.

In my mid to late 30's asthma reared its ugly head, eczema was in full bloom, and the return of acne. Acne has no relation to the triad, but if I mismanage the treatments for the triad, acne is a viable result. After nearly two decades of virtually being acne free, I was shelving out money for prescriptions that were deemed 'new' and 'cutting edge' but gave little results. I grew frustrated with my condition and even more so with my dermatologists. A few simple self-care, at-home treatments resolved my issues.

Then came the 40's...

Hormone struggles are officially added to my list of 'causes' for skin irritations and the return of acne. However, this round, I do not intend to shelve out money to a dermatologist. My skin has been erratic for the last 7 years. I would say the late 30's forward. It is tricky. I have to basically stay consistent and try at best not to over clean it. Now that I am outside a lot running, I have to keep it cleaner but without soap. Same goes for my hair. I cannot over dry or risk overproduction of sebum. My skin follows the same protocol.

A simple steam pot with vitamin c added, along with herbs, teas, etc. but not necessary, helps to open my pores allowing me to cleanse them and treat them instead of just the surface of my skin. This is so cheap and certainly not a recommendation by dermatologists, hence another reason I find the medical profession/insurance community laughable.

my running secret weapon

You may think it is my MP3 player bouncing my favorite tunes. Some may say it is the K-Swiss Tubes I have been raving about since my sister bought me my first pair for Christmas. It very well could be my Brita Bottle (just one of many...building a collection of colors). All of those things are very special to my exercise regimen. However the secret weapon in my arsenal is none other than...drum roll,

Of course you should stay hydrated on a run...but I just could not connect with the idea of toting a water bottle. And the thought of pausing my run to get a sip is sabotage. I would have to rev up again...losing speed, losing time...ugh! I remembered during a sore throat a year ago, that I popped peppermint to get through a cardio session and I did not get thirsty or that parched feeling you get when your throat feels like sandpaper.

Try it!

Special Report - 'Going Natural'

...if you have not considered it, you should

time for changes

It is now day 14 into the month of March. We have been blessed with this awesome spring weather and the season has yet to set. Think about it for a second, and you will not question so much why the weather in the northern most part of the U.S. is experiencing such beauty and warmth so soon. Sure, the ecologists will cite global warming. I will not discount that. I do think it is much deeper than the surface. Every region we see on the map experiences a different climate change. Some having a monsoon, while others are looking forward to harvest. Yes, the weather in Michigan is unusually warm. I hear so many suggesting it is flu weather. Maybe it is the spring that some will not get to see? I cannot predict. I do think everything good is from God. I think he knows and we should just be open to it and recognize even though the weather maybe uncharacteristically warm for this time of the year, things change. As things change, we adapt to them.

constituents, comrades, and confidants - T.D. Jakes

This clip speaks for itself. It is from one of the greatest teachers in the clergy. Bishop Jakes presents a series on 'constituents, comrades, and confidants'. Throughout our lives we meet three types of people. We never really know where they fall in these categories until we are under attack. You can have people in your lives for years, believing that they are there for you no matter what you are going through, but something happens not of your own doing to show you exactly who these people really are. And you are all the better for it. It does not mean they have no meaning in your life. Sometimes people are in your life for their own purpose (constituents) and when they find someone who helps them get where they are going, they leave you and follow the cause that gets them there faster.

Sometimes you have comrades. Those are the people that you call upon when you go to battle. They, like the constituents are present for the temporary service that you provide. If you are not in battle or not in abundance, you shift back and forth from these two sectors of people. Then there is the confidant. All great leaders have one. Bishop Jakes states that you are blessed to have one, but abundantly blessed if you have three in the course of your life. You need all types of people in your life to learn about life. You simply need to know who is where and what position they play. We have all types of friends.

Most important, confidants are the people you can lay your trust in. They are there for the long-haul. They love you unconditionally. They are the people you tend to take for granted, unfortunately. If they leave you, they have not left you because they stop loving you. They leave because they are searching for the thing they provide for you but cannot find within you. It likely was not a relationship of perceived equality. The scales were drastically unbalanced. As a result, they lost favor in you and departed. If they return into your life make their importance in your life known to them. Say it out loud. Time is precious. And we take things that mean most to us and abuse it, believing it will not go away, but be there always. This is so far from the truth, since we know we lose loved ones to death always. Sometimes it leaves. And it is then, we realize that somethings and people are irreplaceable. We know this, but we gamble on it anyway. We wake up knowing and believing that the sun rises to meet us, and they will too.

True soulmates are believed to be each others confidant. They are there for each other without question.

Some years ago an associate of mine insisted that I look very carefully at the people in my life. I was blessed to hear this advice and blessed for following it. That day changed my life forever. To God, Be the Glory!

reflection...thanks to Whitney~

This week was a challenge. The world has yet to see a greater vocal talent than the late Whitney Houston. I was blessed to view her meteoric rise to fame, as well as her fall, and return to glory. I remember the first time I heard her sing. I also remember rushing out to purchase her first album titled “Whitney Houston”. No other artist has touched me the same. I cannot say that this is an impossible feat. I was so young, and very much in love by the time her second album dropped. “Whitney” as it is titled, was the second project that debuted the year I graduated high school. By the following year, I was in a place of uncertainty. College was my life, but I was not totally buying this post-high school thing. I wanted to be in the military, and this desire was elevated by the constant influx of the disconnect I was feeling with those around me.

“Whitney” is a compilation of music that sings of the joys and pains of love. Throughout my life I have been deemed a fool for love. Even when you give your best, it is not good enough. Today, I am returning to the place where “Whitney” gave me comfort. I am forced to revisit a painful moment and reflect. I am encouraged to know that my life, though not perfect, has been a mix of doing what I wanted as well as what others would have me do. Not everyone that comes into your life is meant to be there but to make an impression. Letting go allows the new to flow.

I have been swarming with emotions over the last few months. This week with the passing of Whitney Houston, I have gained a new perspective. I am trusting that the decisions I made were real and deserve their reward. It is time to accept the past pains, and let go, everything, and all things and people associated with that pain. Time has showed me that I can do all things through Christ, the source of my strength.

People curl up their nose still at Bobby Brown. Whitney chose him. For whatever reason, be it low self-esteem, or loving a man that everyone deemed faulty wiring, or seeking a love that could grant you a ‘ghetto pass’, Whitney made a bad decision. I knew it was bad from the onset. I am sure many advised her against it. Sometimes great decisions are made and we lament, wondering if we did the right thing.

I take from this, a very simple conclusion. We cannot know if the decisions we make in our youth will break us or make us. However, if someone or something is not good for you and appears to do more harm to you than good, let it go. Accept that this person’s part in your life may not be forever. Just because someone has what appears to be glory does not mean that they are happy. People who have money often lose themselves in the world of money and its power to create happiness where it does not exist.

Do we deserve to not have happiness? Not at the expense of others pain! We get what we give. If we do not get the love we expect, consider the love you did not give, not necessarily the one you are giving. Maybe it is time to give love to the people you have taken for granted? In the evolution of life it appears that what we experience in the present is the result of our past. And if this holds true, believing that your life will be fascinating and full of blooms is okay, but know that you have to meet up somewhere in time with the past you stumbled through. It is not meant to bruise you but remind you that your transgressions and your blessings touched people in very interesting ways. Reminisce, make peace, move forward.

I do not think that anyone wanted to remind Whitney that she was a failure, but to hopefully show her how her decisions could have been better if the knowledge was there to do better. And then once you know better, you do better. But sometimes the decisions we make last for a lifetime. Whitney’s voice was never the same after the years of drugs. She loved her voice and wanted to share it with the world. She had fans that loved her and she forgot about us. She followed the way of the ones who criticized her, the ones that really did not matter. She learned the lesson after the experience. We learned the lesson through her experience. It's funny how God sends us teachers but still we do not 'get it' until years later.

Why do we do that? It is not the fans we love to hear from but the critics whose bruises affect us most. We need to change that view. We obsessed too much over those who do not really matter. We waste countless hours lamenting and buying the love and affection from those who are not there for us, but there until we no longer meet their expectations or serve their purpose.

I have been blessed to have met some awesome people in my life. I did not know their worth when I was younger. I spent so much time trying to please people who did not really care about me. But I never used anyone to replace something or someone lost. I set a lot of people free. And I think it was a blessing for them. Shamefully, others do not feel the same. They stump over people, break their spirit, simply because they happened to be there, present, kind, and unfettered.

But this is a new day. Although we all lament and desire to change once we realize that we have an opportunity to have what we lost, sometimes that is not the case. Opportunities do not always present themselves. In life, it is important that we take a little moment to examine ourselves, the life we live, the people who surround us, and the things we value.

It is not a lost cause. Accept that the decisions you made were made for good reason. Nothing or no one is perfect. And do not allow your anger with someone’s response to you to allow you to reject your worth. Take a little time to revisit yourself and validate who you are and what you have to offer. Then, allow yourself to relinquish things from your life that are not good for you. It is not necessary to confront people you think have wronged you. Show them that they can go. The door swings both ways. Sometimes it seems that when we have nothing else to control in our lives, we control the people and the things around us that we can. And those closest in proximity is usually those we love and who loves us.

Some people simply do not deserve the love you give freely.

Wake up calls do come. I recognize the importance of flying solo. I do not mean to vacate people from my life. I am simply showing them the exits and making them aware that they are not obligated to stay. The door is open, but it is open if they choose to walk through it. Closure for good is still an option. After the reunion, if there is one, things are no longer the same. You are changed by the experience. Once you realize that you have regained your power, you do not need to mince words. Sure, you do not need to bludgeon people with your platitudes. However, you can be blunt, honest, and real. You can lovingly tell them, it is not the same, and only time will get you back to a place of comfort. Do you care to invest time it takes to reboot?

Lent is approaching. It is a season of sacrifice and humility. I think it is time to revisit that place of letting go the things that mean no good or keep you from growing. I wish that Whitney had a do over, where drugs did not rob her of her gifts. I think her experience is supposed to teach us. I have learned a lot through her life and her music. And I will take from it many things that will undoubtedly force me to let go of things nonessential and embrace the things that are essential. If someone wants to be there, they will be there and will show you what you mean to them at every turn. Trust and believe in what they reveal. It is painful to see that you are allowing them a chance and they are throwing it all away. But recognize the blessing this is in spite of it all.

You still have value and the right people will see it. Do not waste your time trying to prove yourself to those who may not care one way or another. You are important. You have a purpose. You have gifts to share.

Ernestine Sheperd: BudyBuilder—My Generation

everything happens for a reason

Years ago, I was a working teacher, successful but very afraid that someday it could all come crashing down and asked: "who would be there for me?" Well that test came and went, and from that I learned that my greatest ally was the universe, the spiritual realm, or my angels.

The belief in a supreme being and respecting that we did not create ourselves holds true. With every passing day, I offered prayer and sacrifice. I prayed for protection and guidance, and offered obedience. The three things I presented to the universe are still holding true.

Today, I live on significantly less and fear is no longer abound. I feel more protected than ever before. I still do not know what I am supposed to do with the life and the gifts that came with it. Instead of conforming to what I think is right and planning accordingly, I acknowledge that I am void. I ask for protection and guidance, while offering my obedience.

There are many things I want to do. There are people that I want in my life. However, the universe is not allowing anything that goes beyond 'protection and guidance'. I am not imposing my will. I am not praying people or things into and out of my life. I am accepting that which is, and allowing it to bless me abundantly.

During that time of lack, I felt that no one was for me and everyone was against me. It was a reality that held true. I believed that there would be no one and God showed me that. That does not mean that I am not grateful to those who presented themselves as angels. However, when you work for self and you are not motivated for the purpose of doing good, but acting for a return, it is revealed as it is.

We give with the expectation that it will return in prize. I have offered my friendship to people who rejected me simply for the reason that they were not happy with themselves. But friends come and go. Some you think you have, you do not have. Some that you think have departed you are still there in the back space.

I am speaking of this to say essentially, that we must allow whatever is to happen to happen without our interference. Everything happens for a reason. Sure we must ask, then put energy into it. Asking for something that is not purposeful for usage may arrive, but it may not arrive as you wanted it. Does that mean I should not ask for a very specific item? No. I ask for it, but in the will of "protection and guidance". That means, I am asking for the item that I need and not that item I may want. And in return, I will accept that which comes or goes without complaint, which are acts of obedience.